Saturday, October 17, 2009

DND, or "Chatting With The Fam"

Non-Gamers' Guide to This Post

If you type "/dnd" it puts you on "Do Not Disturb" for anyone who whispers you.

You can add details to the DND if you wish, like "/dnd Eating" or "/dnd Moo" which will show up as "[Character] does not wish to be disturbed: Moo"


I have a policy:
Never ever ever ever ever do anything during PMS week.
I broke this policy last week. My brother ran an impromptu VOA, then we went to TOC and I had fun there even though I don't love the place.

Until the cat knocked the door off his litterbox and the hormones kicked into high gear. We'd just wiped on the twins twice (after one-shotting the other bosses) and the last time the cat knocked the door off his litterbox (early September), he prompted this guild forum post at 6AM:
Oh. My. God.

Husband gets chores when he gets up because I just had to deal with cat poo.


And not in nice little litterbox clumps. No, Tiger ate one of my hairs and then ate breakfast and then pooped both and freaked out when the poo kept following him, as it was attached to the hair, so he ran around the apartment pooping!


I'm so glad we're moving because the carpet is so freaking tainted now. I can't see it, but I know it's there. Essence d' Poo.
So I typed a harassed explanation for why I needed to quit right then, and husband dealt with fixing the litterbox door (you set it in a groove and need to vacuum out the litter that gets in the groove or the door falls out) and then I went mining on my pretty bird with the absolute conviction that everyone in the raid was mad at me for leaving (they weren't).
  • Brother: tell your husband goodnight... i missed him in my rush to find food (was feeling faint)
  • [Dustfire] does not wish to be disturbed: PMS! PMS! PMS! PMS! PMS! PMS! PMS! PMS! PMS! PMS! PMS! PMS! PMS! PMS!!!
  • Brother: holy monkey lovin' PMS monster screaming
  • Me to Sister-in-Law: /supermassivepmsemo
My sister-in-law and friend both calmed me down. Honestly, I don't think men know what to do when women feel like angry emo freaks. Other women can empathize. Though men are pretty handy at running out to get chocolate... But it's like... even while you're an angry emo freak, you know you're overreacting, so you kind of hate yourself, and other women get that. So they aren't scared of you like men are when you're on the verge of either crying or castrating someone.

So yeah. All that to say I added another "ever" to my policy.
Never ever ever ever ever EVER do anything during PMS week.
Maybe that'll stick.


  1. 'holy monkey lovin' PMS monster screaming' is pretty much how I react to my own sisters when they PMS.

    Which seems like constantly, as both their boyfriends have been jackasses and dumped them lately. >.>

    My mom said I'm not allowed to do the brother thing, mostly because it involves metal baseball bats, and I don't want a criminal record.

  2. I'm assuming the bats would be for the boyfriends and not your sisters. >_>

  3. BOTH, if they keep up with that whining. /flex

  4. So how should a husband/brother/random guy on the street that just happened to set of your emo monster, react to an angry emo freak?

    My wife and I have been married for 17 years. I can see the angry emo coming before it even starts, yet I still don't know how to respond other than walk on egg shells, smile and nod my head saying yes dear.

    The hard thing is, her concerns are legitimate, she's just blowing them WAY out of proportion.

  5. I think you're doing the best you can, honestly.

    The only thing I'd really encourage (for all men) is to try and be as understanding as possible. Not just ducking and placating but really listening without jumping in to try and fix everything. A woman in emo anger mode doesn't need her problems solved, she just needs someone to really hear her without judging.

    That's one thing my husband's learned -- when I got irrational, he used to try to give me solutions but all I really wanted was for him to listen and offer understanding. When you're irrational, people trying to be practical is irritating. You just need to vent.

    So I guess... let venting be venting. Let the calm afterward be practical time.

    (Disclaimer: All women are different, but I think this applies to most.)

  6. What works for me (though it can seem like a physical hazard at the time): HUGS.

    Hugs provide the transition from irrational to practical because the woman will often break down crying when you hug her as she's ranting and then you can fetch her some chocolate (or wine) and rationally explain how her problem could be solved (usually by chocolate or wine).

  7. My husband has become pretty good at anticipating when I'm going to be completely irrational. The best tactic seems to be bringing home a present or doing something sweet like making me dinner or just bringing me a cup of tea. It jolts me out of it pretty well.

    He learnt the hard way that trying to be the rational one in my irrational tantrum just won't work. Doing something nice makes me realise I'm being an idiot :)

  8. lol. I dunno' . . . kinda' makes sense that maybe the men would be more conerned when you're "on the verge of . . . castrating someone."

    Back in college, my wife actually had a summer job castrating sheep. Makes the angry emo days even more exciting.


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