Gathering for Cataclysm, or "Everyone Likes Gold"

New races means new rerolls means new characters leveling professions means high demand for profession-leveling materials.

So whether you're a miner, herbalist, or just willing to put in the time for grinding cloth, I suggest you stock up to help those power-levelers level their crafts -- and line your pockets.


This post brought to you by the "I don't have internet access on the road" post scheduling system.

For the Horde, or "See Mom? Warcraft Has Real World Benefits"

We're finishing the last details of moving (will be MIA all next week) and husband just confirmed our new apartment and scheduled the cable guy.

Afterward, husband came into the living room and pumped his fist in the air. "Say it with me now. For the Horde!"

I pumped my fist in a confused manner. "For the Horde..?"

He'd chatted with the cable installation guy, who'd noticed we'd chosen the super-fast option. Installation guy said "Yeah, I use that too. It's really great for gaming." Husband agreed and mentioned that we play Warcraft.

Installation guy was pleased. "So do I! Now, I have to ask... Alliance or Horde?"

"Horde," said husband.

"Good, because now I can comp you for the $50 installation fee."

For the Horde, indeed. XD

Rock the Boat, or "The Way Things Have Been Done"

The biggest drawback for me and my character customization fetish is that my MMO characters can't hang out together. And it made me wonder -- why do MMOs insist you can only play one character at a time?

Customization Nation, or "Where Avatars Can Be All That They Can Be"

Intro

A while back, I went afk for Sims 3 and one of my readers requested my take on the game. Here, I'm going to take a broader view of that request and talk about avatar customization in games in general.

A E I O U, or "Brewfest Grammar Police"

Me: Is anyone else disturbed by that murderer of the English language? ...hic!
Brother: what are you referring to?
Guildie: no ur just drunk
Me: Guild name "Trolling Is A Art."
Brother: is he... a troll?
Me: Yes. But he used "a" instead of "an." He's a monster!
Brother: Sorry... is he AN troll?
Me: Hiss.
Brother: Their their, Beth, it's okay.
Me: /CRY

I don't mind internet shorthand, don't get me wrong. I correct people when they misspell stuff, but I don't insist everyone type stuff out in properly-formed sentences.

But such a blatant grammatical mistake in your own guild name?

/flails of horror

Help Me, or "The Low and the Desperate"

Request from a Level 52 to a Level 80
"can u help me?"
"what do you need?"
"well i need hhelp trying to get a mount the. foollow me"

Request from a Level 48 to a Level 80
"okay umm can you by any chance help me do that ill pay you every gold i have it should b 6 gold"

These are so sad they're almost not funny.

Approaching a stranger for something is like going to a job interview. You have to make them want to help you. There has to be something in it for the person helping, and you have to communicate clearly and make sure people know what's going on.

When Mr. 52 whispered me with a request for anything from the ram reins to run the Brewfest quest to the Zulian Tiger in Stranglethorn Vale, my reaction was an automatic "hell no" (okay, I said a little more than that and quite a bit more politely, but that was my first instinct).

Let's say he wanted the Direbrew mount, since that's what it probably was (plenty of people don't realize you no longer need the mount as a drop to get Brewmaster).

First, I want the ram on my druid so there's a stranger rolling against me. Second, he's 52 and doesn't have a summon so our summons would be limited. Third, he's 52 and can't help fight so he's dead weight. Fourth, he's a stranger so why would I waste my precious once-a-day summon on him when my guildmates want it?

How could he have phrased it to make me help him?

• He (or a friend of his) has a summon.
• I don't have to use my summon.
• He lets me roll against him if something cool drops.

That's the only way I'd help a complete stranger. The only way.

Let's look at Mr. Level 48. He asked a guildie for help killing Direbrew and offered to pay. I'm more sympathetic to his case, but he still has the same major roadblock that Mr. 52 had -- no summon to offer.

How could he have phrased it to make her help him?

• He'll pass on everything, just wants the kill.
• He brings his own summon (self or friend).
• She doesn't have to use her summon.

You don't have a lot of bargaining room when you're low level wanting to do high level things. You make cuts and sacrifices and, if those don't work, you keep leveling until you have enough to trade with.

When you don't get to join the big kids, suck it up and do the low level stuff for now. Brewfest will be back again next year when you're 80.

Dance Studio News, or "I Was Hoping for Video, But This Works"

MMO Champion says:

... if I had to draw conclusions based on what we have in the game files, I'd say that the Dance Studio will let players create custom dances by combining different moves, effects, and modifiers. Once they are happy with their dance, it looks like they will be able to name it and share it with other players (it would explain the dancecache.wdb to store them clientside). The PlayDance("dance name") command most likely means that players will be able to save multiple dances on a character and pick one depending on their mood.

MULTIPLE DANCES! (Probably.)

SHARED DANCES! (Most likely.)

SPARKLY EFFECTS IN DANCES! (Perhaps?)

This poses a new social issue. If you can share dances and you spend hours designing a perfect dance just for your character and some level 12 shows up and says "I CAN HAS DANCE?!" -- what do you do?

Say it with me: "L2Create, Nub."

I think it could be like a bit like gold begging -- people who didn't grind all that gold out on their own don't see the big deal of asking for a handout. And people who don't have the energy or creativity to make their own dances will likely ask to use other people's, if sharing is allowed.

I suggest that (as long as it isn't super-expensive per dance) everyone make a dance that you're willing to hand out to others, but you keep your favorite for yourself. There's no shame in not giving away your hard work, as long as you're polite about it: "Sorry, I made this specifically for this character and don't plan to share it. I do have another dance I can share, though."

That gives them a chance to use your other dance (and see you as a generous person) or be a whiny jerky brat and keep demanding the one they asked for (we've all seen it with gold beggars).

Luckily, whiny jerky brats aren't our problem and give us a chance to exercise our Ignore list! :D

Brewfest 2009, or "WHY Did I Choose to Miss the Second Half by Moving?"

Lesson for all you little WoWers -- check the in-game schedule before setting the date for a three day drive with all your stuff to a new location. Otherwise, you'll end up moving in the middle of Brewfest.

Changes since Brewfest 2007 & 2008

• ALL NEW PINK ELEKK PET!
• Direbrew is 80 with 80 drops.
• No longer need a mount drop for the meta achievement.
• No longer need to drink 12 months of brews for the meta achievement.

Major Dailies/Quests That Give Tokens
First day gave me 125 tokens from doing all the available quests.

Dark Iron Invasion
There's a mini-quest you do where you pick up mugs off the table, drink, and chuck them (auto-targeting included). Dark Irons pop up every half hour or so and you find a table by one of the brew tents, drink, and chuck. A barker will refill you, so basically if you put the mugs on a hotkey you get to just spam it for 5 minutes.

The goal is to protect 1 out of your 3 kegs of Brewfest beer. If you make the enemy retreat (denoted by a /yell to retreat and number of losses), a gear will appear in the center of the grounds with a daily quest. (You don't have to help to get this.) Pick it up, turn it in.

Direbrew's Dire Brew (One-Time Only)
Kill him, loot quest item for 40 tokens. He's 80 with 80 loot and still has 2 rare drop mounts.

Do this in the first three days if you don't have a group of friends or guildies to do it with. I'm not even joking, it's the easiest time of the holiday to PuG it.

Check to make sure everyone in your party has a summon. This includes you. Just walking in does not equal a summon.

Prereq for Direbrew summon: Do the Welcome quest that gives you a reward of your choice of drink (available under the main banner leading onto the grounds). After that, head to Kharanos (A) or the road south of Org (H) to pick up Save Brewfest!

The rest is inside with Direbrew. Turn in, talk to Direbrew, he attacks.

Be prepared to meet him, because even if you don't kill him your summon is gone for the day.

Bark for _____
They give you a ram and you run around your city to the four flags. Read this quest before doing it if you aren't familiar with it. Alliance flags here-ish, horde flags here.

You no longer have to get back to the guy before your ram runs out, you can dismount once you're finished and ride back on your own.

Tips for Riding: Keep the ram's speed on yellow and put it down to bluegreen when you get your fatigue to 70. If you hit 100 fatigue, it will make you go super-slow.

There and Back Again
Keg deliveries have a limit of 3 and 10 token reward for the first. AFTER that, you can speak to the guy once a day, click through his dialogue, and turn in kegs for 2 tokens each until your ram timer runs out.

Tips for Riding: Whip your mount into a lather and keep it in the red riding speed. Brush by buckets of apples (more convenient placement this year, thank God) to remove fatigue, since hitting 100 reduces your mount to a crawl.

Pink Elephants (One-Time Only)
Go to the major cities. Bring drinks or your stein to use at the kegs. Get drunk. Use quest item on pink elephants:

• Stormwind, Darnassus, Exodar
• Thunder Bluff, Undercity, Silvermoon

Achievements

Coming soon...

Pirate's Day, or "She's On The Bank Roof"

Go up in the inn, out toward Seahorn and the Baron, loop left past the horde flightmaster, continue to the bank roof.

Talk to Dread Captain DeMeza.

Achieve.

(Achievement available today only, no substitutes. Arrrr.)

Hugs for Revenge, or "Opportunities Arise"

So yesterday I wrote about a ganking hunter who messed with us (most likely) because he hated me for my mount.

Today I found him in the Hodir dailies hub and squashed him (he went down pretty fast).


Yes, that's an AFK. Please, like I could take him one-on-one? I know how squishy I am.

And, yes, I got an achievement off him. I don't PVP on Dusty (I have another character for that) and never bothered to do PVP achievements for her, but this seemed right somehow.

Cost, or "Drawbacks to Owning Something Cool"

• The ribbons fly in my face when I turn the camera (due to my settings).
• I'm hesitant to mount in front of large groups when I'm busy.
  
• Mounting in front of my friends feels a bit like bragging.
• I shift out of shadowform every time I mount, so I never have mana.
  
• I get focus-fired by gankers.

Where You Belong, or "Husband Makes Me Laugh"

Three weeks ago, I decided it was time for a gear audit. We were trying to down Kael'thas and the ranged woman wasn't going down fast enough with just me on her, so I decided to do something about it.

Those of you who've been reading for a while know that my husband and I compliment each other with our WoW styles. He's into learning about his characters, what they can do, and all the spells and gear and glyphs and enchants available to them.

I'm into looking pretty.

So he tells me how to gear my character and I help him with his color coordination.

Sometimes my lack of interest in getting new gear can verge into the silly. When I asked him to help me on my gear audit and gave him a list of my squirreled-away currency (honor, badges, etc), he found me about 3 major buyable upgrades and we had the following conversation:

[Husband stirring coffee in the kitchen and informing me of upgrades while I lean against the doorway. He's already bemoaned my lack of purchasing skills and has just told me which legs to buy.]

Him: You also have enough Emblems of Valor you've been sitting on for a month that will give a cloak upgrade.

Me: Go me!

Him: Yes. Go. Go to Fail Land. Because that's where you belong.

[At this point, I was too busy laughing to finish the conversation, so he sent me an email with the rest of my upgrades.]

Selfless, or "Can I Come With You To Kael'thas?"

While hovering on my phoenix in a public spot today, I got a lot of whispers, a few of which got excited when I mentioned my friends would probably go back to TK for more phoenixes. One asked if he could come with us, and I said I'd pass his name to my friends (I will and they'll say no). Another seemed like he wanted to ask to be included, but I "had to" log to get lunch.

Why would they want to be part of my group instead of forming their own? Because the hardest part of the phoenix farming isn't the fight itself, and it isn't the gear. It is finding others willing to go when the possibility of reward grows exponentially smaller with each group member. (And also because letting someone else do all the work is nice.)

My group was unique in several ways, the biggest being that my guildmates went in knowing they wouldn't get anything out of it besides a TK achievement -- they went in specifically to get me the first phoenix.

Competitive groups will have to weigh the pro of possibly winning a phoenix mount vs the con of probably grinding for an epic amount of time just to see the roll go to someone else (and perhaps see that person leave the farming group so that you have to find someone to fill their spot -- and thus keep the odds of winning it very low).

So why has my guild been successful, and why are we likely to see another phoenix eventually?

Kael'thas Strat, or "How To Farm Your Phoenixes"

Where: The Eye of Tempest Keep (Netherstorm, Outlands)
What: Kael'thas Sunstrider, 2% Drop Rate for Ashes of Al'ar
When: Once a Week

You can skip all the other bosses and go straight to him. The trash is annoying and dangerous, with knockbacks and whirlwinds, but you can handle it if you can handle the boss.

Recommended Level 80 Team Requirements:

• 3 Melee
• 2 Heals
• 1 Ranged
• 1 Tank
  

^ This requirement list is for level 80 if your gear is post-Ulduar and pre-Icecrown. If it's below Uld, get one more of everything.

When starting out at 85, I recommend using 5-7 players. You shouldn't try with less than 5 because of mind control (he controls 3 players at a time, and your teammates will try to kill you) and the fact that mind control won't break until a non-mind-controlled player breaks it.  Using 4 players is theoretically possible, but I imagine more complications.

Phoenix Mount, or "OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG"

A friend recorded the whole fight, and I'll get you a link when he has it available. (Here's a link of me flying.)

This was our third run. Third. I'm absurdly lucky and don't deserve it, but I needed a pick-me-up after lunch today. We went out with a family I really like and my only female friend in town, and I started sniffling about moving away (2.5 weeks, and then we'll live by my brother and his wife).

So then we got home and ran TK and... um... it dropped.

Draenic Wildstaff, or "It Grows Flowers!"

What to Wear

WoW Insider has their little "Ooo, look at this piece of gear" thing, except they pay too much attention to stats and not enough to pretty.

Seriously, though, I've been wanting to feature potential role-playing gear for a while, I just never got uber-passionate about the more common options. So every now and then, when I find something interesting, I'll tell you where you can get it. :)

--------------------

Draenic Wildstaff

Dropped By: Avatar of the Martyred
Instance: Auchenai Crypts (Auchindoun)
Description: It's animated! The flowers bloom and change into mushrooms.

You can see this same staff in Dragonblight's Emerald Dragonshrine on Nishera the Garden Keeper, Fhyron Shadesong at the Argent Tournament, and Netherstorm's Aurine Moonblaze at the elevator to Stormspire. It matches an epic hunter bow. Nishera is shown in the video below.

That Time of Year, or "Is Half Your Guild Taking a Hiatus?"

School is starting. We're in between content patches. The next expansion got announced. Several exciting new games are coming out.

It's a rough time. It was slow before Wrath, it was slow before Burning Crusade. It should get even slower than it is now in the two or three months before Cataclysm.

Raiding guilds with spots to fill will start trying to poach; players who can't get their raid fix in more casual raid guilds will leave to try the major leagues; and guild leaders will be thrown into a tailspin.

Don't panic.

Everything will be okay.


To help your guild survive, break out your towels and hold them tight. Then consider the following list:

• PUG the raid spots you can't fill. If your raiders are raiding with you, they aren't raiding with strangers.
• Encourage Real Lifers to return. Whether leaving for school or another game, let them know they have a spot when they come back.
  
• Schedule runs and events for any old world achievements people haven't completed yet. This will help entertain the bored.
• Schedule social events and contests, like hide and seek or screenshot competitions. Make sure the prizes are tempting.
• Help people. Unstable times are the times you need to go out of your way to make sure everyone feels welcome. Don't kill yourself trying to do everything, but do take the time to help with Chillmaw when no one else will, or dps an instance when they're begging to fill one final slot, or just chat with someone while you do your separate things.
  

Members of guilds, consider:

• Don't bite the hand that feeds you. Letting yourself get poached is a bad idea. Not only does it tick off your old guild, your new guild may well put you aside when their real members get active again. Think about it. You are their second-string, their desperate move. Why would they want to keep you happy once they aren't in trouble? Loyalty breeds loyalty. You stay when times are rough, your guild trusts and values you that much more.
• It will get better. A slump is just that -- a slump. It's not a sign that your guild is dying. Everyone slumps.
• Share your ideas and needs. If you really desperately want X or Y (and it's possible), talk to other people and try to generate enthusiasm. The people you especially want to convince are the ones who always end up leading group events -- these people know how to plan, organize, and get things done. Events led by them always inspire interest and confidence.
• Encourage the ideas and needs of others. Particularly those that coincide in some way with your needs, but sometimes you can work out a compromise where you help someone and they'll help you back. It's win-win.
  

Related articles include How To Form A Group and Understanding Needs vs Wants.

Server Crash, or "What Sucks Here?"

So my family and I were about to win a Wintergrasp (thank you, thank you, hold your applause) when people noticed they couldn't resurrect.

I figured my healing skillz were needed more than ever, since death had become a permanent state and we only had one more minute to defend the fortress, so I put my back into the effort until we won and the timer reset.

But nobody got marks.

And nobody got quest credit.

Not even the living.

So I sat and watched the angry raid chat until the server crashed and logged us all out.

"They don't care that servers are going down, they just want our money."

I really wanted to argue but kept my mouth shut. The rational truth is that if people can't play, Blizzard will lose customers, thus the guy's perspective has a whopping inconsistency issue.

It's true Blizz is a business, but I've never, in the few years I've been playing this game, gotten the impression the company doesn't care about its quality of service. Players might argue about whether or not what they produce is worth the time and effort, but it is false to say they don't put time and effort into their product.

I also swear to you, as the wife of an IT guy, when something goes down unexpectedly the company scrambles to fix it. They are not just sitting there going "Oh, we'll take care of those servers after we have a snack break." When one of my husband's sites goes down, it doesn't matter if he's watching The Office with me and I'm on an emo hormone binge -- he has to work. So I'm sure the guys sweating away at Blizz, fixing server crashes for ungrateful little snots when they could be watching The Office, really appreciate all the whiny jerks spouting off.

"I swear to God, I'm quitting for Aion."

Yeah, um. Having a bug in the game you're playing is not a good reason to switch to a new game. Brand new games actually have (gasp!) more bugs than well-established games.

Nor does this work as a scare tactic. Nobody actually cares that one disgruntled player is waving around Aion like a flag of war. You want to play it, play it, but stop going on about how you should because Blizz is so fail. If you had the rocks to quit, you would have done it already.

Conclusion

I realize people need to vent when they get frustrated, but I also think some of those guys need anger management. It might be important to get what you earn, but missing out on three Wintergrasp marks is not world-ending. This goes for pretty much any aspect of the game, because some things stick with you longer than success or rewards or even the game itself. Like friends. People who help you -- not because they can get something off of you, but because you have mutual affection and respect for each other.

Dusty Goes Aion, or "My Friend Let Me Take 100 Screenshots"

So a few of my guildmates have gone to Aion and one of them (the guy who met Felicia Day at Blizzcon) let me and husband pop over so I could make a character or three (okay, I just had time for one) on his computer and take a billion (okay, just 60) screenshots of her.

I have no real desire to play Aion, but I do like character customization (a little too much -- that's why I have a Sims obsession). So here's my remake of Dustfire for Aion! :D


I'll have you know, though, that all my screenshots weren't of Dustfire. I had my friend take a good three of his cute freckled scout! So there.


And here's another guildmate's adorable character:


Yay!

I . . . um . . . really just like cute photos. XD

Healing in PVP, or "I Like Healing Unkillable People"

I healed in arenas for a bit. The other team identifies you and you get a HoT or two off before they kill you.

I quit arenas pretty soon after we started (it was the waiting for our games to pop as much as the games themselves) and started healing battlegrounds.

Which is the funnest thing ever.

My favorite part is that you can stay in the back and if your dps is good enough, they'll keep the other team so busy trying to survive, they won't even notice you.

I went to a WSG with a prot warrior friend who tanks raids for our guild, and we more or less two-manned that game. Our team kept them a bit busy, but he ran the flag and I healed the 5% of health he lost every now and then, and we were unstoppable.

I went into an Eye of the Storm this morning and had two really great unstoppable dps that I just followed around healing. They could not die even with five people on them, as long as I kept something coming.

I used bg chat to roll around in the happy a moment: "I like healing unkillable people."

Another person replied: "You should heal us killable people too." (Paraphrased from the gibberish it actually was.)

It bummed me a bit, because I had been. I heal anyone in my range who needs it, regardless of gear or level.

Things I've learned from healing battlegrounds:

• Grid is as amazing as everyone says it is.
• People like to leave healers on defense alone, where they can't heal anyone and can't defend anything.
• Going in with at least 1 dps who will make an effort to stay near you can win you the game.
• It can be therapeutic to yell "Don't you hurt my honey!" in Vent while you heal your injured spouse to full.
• If you accept a bg invite while in an instance, it ports you to the nearest graveyard when you get out.
• If you're traveling in flight form when you enter, you'll still be in the air when you get out -- but you won't be in flight form.
• Certain times of day are better than others.
• A healer in the right place at the right time can turn the tide of a battle.
• Some things, you can't outheal. Like stupid. Or their entire team.
• When you are trying to outheal another healer, and you're evenly matched, the one who wins is the one whose dps realizes they shouldn't be attacking the other dps. They should be attacking the healer.
• Defense is boring. Winning is fun.
• Rotating defensive positions between several people keeps individuals from rebelling and leaving something completely undefended.
• Getting PUGs to coordinate is painful. Getting a premade to coordinate is delightful.
• Playing defense can be fun with a friend.
• The more you can be aware of what everyone is doing around you, the smarter your play will be.
  
• Stealthers can retake or defend positions more cleverly than anyone else.
• Taking the time to open and study your map in an unfamiliar battleground is better than following others with no clue where you are or where you should be.
• One healer is good. Two is great. But a team of only healers loses.
  
• Staying in stealth until people need heals makes me giggle.
  

And so on and so forth.

Your Rights, or "GMs Are Here to Serve YOU"

First of all, I will acknowledge that there are some GMs who do not understand your rights as I list them here. These are the GMs who did not pay attention in GM school. Most of them should do their job the right way the first time, but if you get a rare dense one, just explain things to them the way I've explained them to you and cross your fingers.

1) You have the right to play unmolested.

Verbal harassment is prohibited on all servers. RP servers have a special rule about "not harassing the RP players." PVP servers are the only ones that allow physical harassment, as it's considered a facet of PVP, but if someone is killing you over and over or dragging mobs onto you (aka camping and griefing) on a PVE server, your player rights are being violated.

2) You have the right to click on stuff.

I'm not talking about the zerg on the quest giver after a WG. I'm talking about that one guy on the mammoth who stays on the quest giver for ten minutes while taunting you, or who stands on the mailbox or even a street vendor and actively refuses to move in order to hamper your gameplay.

3) You have the right to police your server.

From name violations to behavior issues, you are the police force of your server. GMs take care of several servers at a time and don't know or care what's going on in your immediate vicinity. They only care when you ticket them to enforce your rights as a citizen of Azeroth (and paying customer). (This right does not extend to bossing people around or trying to enforce your rights on your own.)

4) You have the right to play without player-caused lag.

If there's a team of twenty mages spamming their aoe's in a city full of people, and you can only move five millimeters every five seconds, that is a compromise of your rights as a player. This right is to avoid intentional lag caused by other players, not the lag caused by the ordinary crush in cities.

5) You have the right for a fair game.

The guy who gets across Warsong Gulch in two seconds due to a map bug? Yeah, he's cheating. GMs take cheating more seriously than anything else, though the correct term is "exploiting."

6) You have the right to avoid advertising and scams.

Those "Buy Gold" people in the cities named Xfrwtyfasfg? They're not supposed to be there. Nor are the people whispering you with misspelled offers of a spectral tiger raffle. Blizz does what it can about these people, but they keep finding work-arounds to get back in.

7) You have the right not to be offended.

If someone has a name, guild name, pet name, or comment that is racist, sexist, hate, or otherwise super-offensive, you have the right to report it. Mania had a great idea I wish I'd thought of in my last reporting post: if you're reporting a name, put the person on your friends list and make sure it changes to something non-offensive. (GMs do not check back to make sure the new name is good, though some will rename a player themselves.) This way, you can keep reporting them if they keep picking bad names.

8) You have the right to report infractions of your rights.

To start a ticket with a GM, click the red question mark at the bottom of your screen and click the appropriate section. In the given field, you should put a succinct description of the infraction and guilty party.

Try to include all of the following in your ticket:

1. Offender: Name, Race, Class, Level. If there are any "special" letters, point those out specifically.
2. Time: The exact time the infraction took place.
3. Location: Where did the infraction take place?
4. Channel: Which chat channel did the infraction take place in, if at all? (Whispers, say, yell, general, trade, etc?)
5. Infraction: What exactly did they do wrong? Give exact words, spells cast, or mount as it affected the situation.
   

If you have to log off before a GM can respond to you, they will still look into your ticket, so you want it to be as thorough as possible.

For long-term situations, try to be as exact as you can for each incident -- the farther back GMs have to wade, the harder it will be for them to find the incidents you mention, and they have other tickets besides yours to take care of.

Screenshots (PrintScrn) don't hurt, either.

9) You have the right to privacy.

This means that if you have a ticket opened against you for something you did, the GM won't air your dirty laundry to the people who reported you. The reporter does not get to find out what happened as a result of his or her ticket.

Hi!, or "Open Letter To Zuluhed Alliance"

If I see you around and you're way lower than me, and I kill you, it's because I hate your guild. Switching tags will fix this.

If you think your level 22 bow and arrow can put a single dent in my armor's durability, please feel free to shoot me with it. But I reserve the right to return the favor.

I'll buy your Argent Tournament pets for 1,000g on the neutral AH. Anything much over that is ridiculous. (My friends need them too, so feel free to keep listing.)

I realize that members of my fellow horde can be massive jerks and that even some of my friends like to mess with you. I don't. I will leave you alone if you'll leave me alone.

I have friends. If you insist on making trouble in daily zones or even lowbie zones where someone's girlfriend is questing, depending on how many people are on, our guild will enjoy PVP all over your corpse.

If someone attacks you and you're fighting back for your life, and I come along and help your foe, I'm sorry. I have to default assume you attacked first and protect myself from being attacked second.

We hate some horde as much as you hate them. Please feel free to gank any of our trolls from the official forums, such as unrepentant ninjas like Billpaxton. If you have an Alliance hitlist you'd like us to look at, I'll pass it to my guild.

I hate world PVP. This does not mean I'm a pacifist. If I can't defend myself, I'll call friends or log off. If I can, I'll wear your entrails as a hat for an hour.

A /smile when you could have ganked me will make me put you on my nicelist. This doesn't stop my PVP-happy friends from bothering you, but it does mean I'll yell at them for it.

I understand PVP when there's a mining node, awesome herb, or rare mob that we're vying over. I won't hold this against you and expect the same consideration.

Vying for stuff does not extend to fishing pools for me. L2Share.

Ganking me does not actually ruin my day. It just means I switch to Sims 3 for a while and play with cute hairstyles.

If my friends hurt you (or keep sheeping you and giggling), sorry. I swear they're actually really nice.

If you show me your pets, I'll show you mine. Same goes for dresses if we're near a bank.

If you're a rare race/gender/class combo and I need you for the holidays, and I end up /hugging you about 40 times when I find you, I'll remember you fondly forever. (Thinking of you, Manna, sweetie.)

If you have a name like Xxlegolassxx, I won't regret seeing you dead. I just won't.

If you and your friends are hanging out and I have to get past, I may drop in and fear you all. This is merely a defensive maneuver and won't hurt you, so please don't death grip me back.

I'm a cute and harmless girl. I'll make adorable sadfaces if you hurt me.

Signed,
Dustfire
In Vino Veritas