Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Hi!, or "Open Letter To Zuluhed Alliance"

If I see you around and you're way lower than me, and I kill you, it's because I hate your guild. Switching tags will fix this.

If you think your level 22 bow and arrow can put a single dent in my armor's durability, please feel free to shoot me with it. But I reserve the right to return the favor.

I'll buy your Argent Tournament pets for 1,000g on the neutral AH. Anything much over that is ridiculous. (My friends need them too, so feel free to keep listing.)

I realize that members of my fellow horde can be massive jerks and that even some of my friends like to mess with you. I don't. I will leave you alone if you'll leave me alone.

I have friends. If you insist on making trouble in daily zones or even lowbie zones where someone's girlfriend is questing, depending on how many people are on, our guild will enjoy PVP all over your corpse.

If someone attacks you and you're fighting back for your life, and I come along and help your foe, I'm sorry. I have to default assume you attacked first and protect myself from being attacked second.

We hate some horde as much as you hate them. Please feel free to gank any of our trolls from the official forums, such as unrepentant ninjas like Billpaxton. If you have an Alliance hitlist you'd like us to look at, I'll pass it to my guild.

I hate world PVP. This does not mean I'm a pacifist. If I can't defend myself, I'll call friends or log off. If I can, I'll wear your entrails as a hat for an hour.

A /smile when you could have ganked me will make me put you on my nicelist. This doesn't stop my PVP-happy friends from bothering you, but it does mean I'll yell at them for it.

I understand PVP when there's a mining node, awesome herb, or rare mob that we're vying over. I won't hold this against you and expect the same consideration.

Vying for stuff does not extend to fishing pools for me. L2Share.

Ganking me does not actually ruin my day. It just means I switch to Sims 3 for a while and play with cute hairstyles.

If my friends hurt you (or keep sheeping you and giggling), sorry. I swear they're actually really nice.

If you show me your pets, I'll show you mine. Same goes for dresses if we're near a bank.

If you're a rare race/gender/class combo and I need you for the holidays, and I end up /hugging you about 40 times when I find you, I'll remember you fondly forever. (Thinking of you, Manna, sweetie.)

If you have a name like Xxlegolassxx, I won't regret seeing you dead. I just won't.

If you and your friends are hanging out and I have to get past, I may drop in and fear you all. This is merely a defensive maneuver and won't hurt you, so please don't death grip me back.

I'm a cute and harmless girl. I'll make adorable sadfaces if you hurt me.


Signed,
Dustfire
In Vino Veritas

3 comments:

  1. *Is immediately defeated bad SadKat picture*

    But yeh, that's about what I do. Well, except for the being nice bit.

    The only time I didn't complain about being ganked?

    A Destruction Warlock hid in the *trees* above me in Sholozar and continuly dropped down every time I was doing Oracles quests. That takes some kind of genius.

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  2. Awww I try and not gank I hate it BUT I will help out a fellow allie just because Im nice like that :P But I do /wave or /hug or even /kiss horde too :)

    Love always
    Flirtaisa

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  3. I honestly don't mind PvP, even when I lose. I was farming chilled meat, leather and Lackey ears in Borean Tundra with my level 71 druid in his cat spec & gear. At about 50% health and simultaneously in combat with a Lackey and a Caribou, a level 71 undead rogue stealthed up behind me, killed me and made his getaway.

    Well alright. No big deal. We were the same level. He got the drop on me, so maybe it wasn't quite a fair fight. But you never know. If I was better at PvP I'd have been more careful, maybe realized a little sooner that it wasn't just another Lackey jumping into the fray and maybe made a better fight of it. As is I considered myself warned that there was a hostile hordie around, switched to bear spec & gear and continued farming . . . keeping an eye out for the rogue and watching my (now more significant) health a little better.

    But honestly. When at level 20ish I'm waiting at Sentinel Hill for some guildies to go questing together in Westfall and a level ?? Paladin runs into town and two shots me . . . well, whatever. That's not PvP, that's just random bullying. /sorry, /hug, /dance didn't suddenly turn him into a fun loving guy who enjoys a little interfaction competition . . . they just made him look like a narcisstic prigge, "I get off on flexing my powerful against helpless noobs and, sorry, but you just got elected noob of the day! Now check out my sexy while I dance on your corpse."

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