Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Teo Anecdote, or "My Guild Leader is Too Good at Everything"

He's the one who got the sea turtle first in our guild, and this is his ridiculous pet collection. He won our guildwide PVP tourney on a disc priest. He has perfect pitch. I want to babynap his daughter. He's tall, thin, and Asian. He takes beautiful photos of his wife and kids. When he grows facial hair, I almost wish I was male so I could copycat because it's that awesome. Oh, and he's a nice person and effective leader.

Hate him yet?

Today's Anecdote is from Teo, written by Teo, experienced by Teo:

"So, I was chowing down on some of my favorite chips ever: Trader Joe's Salt and Pepper chips, and trying to get my tournament dailies done at the same time (I know, lethal combination - you will never know true desperation until you have to decide between food and WoW).

I'm pretty sure that the people around me watching me probably were thinking "LAWL FAILRET FROM ALT VINO VERITAS THEIR TERRIBAD", and deservedly so - I, after all, value a clean keyboard over eDignity. You see, one clean pinky finger on an otherwise dirty set of hands can mean the difference between playing and not playing for a clean freak like me.

So anyway, I'm killing 15 scourge, 5 at a time, and those skeletons are pretty much laying the smack down on me as my pinky does its work, when...

Purelegacy (or was it Darklegacy, or Darkvasectomy or Purelobotomy?? I can't say for sure!), prot warrior class hero and night elf female extraordinaire, comes charging at me.

Seeing as how I'd just finished the daily, and how my hunger was firmly in control, for the first ten seconds, an overwhelming apathy kicks in. I actually go to get another chip, and I think even turn around to see what my wife's doing with my iPhone on the couch. Returning to my screen, I notice that I'm not dead. Naturally, I presume it's because this PROt warrior is waiting to spell reflect my clutch hammer of justice.

But upon closer inspection, I realize I'm not dead because this warrior isn't killing me. I started to panic: if I didn't die soon, all this time spent in glorious PvP would be wasted... my efforts to die quickly, rez quietly and fly away would come to naught. So I take matters into my own hands, or, rather, my own pinky.

I right click on her to auto-attack, then go for the oh-so-important Pinky Judgement. I follow up swiftly with Pinky Crusader Strike, then Divine Pinky Storm. The warrior is starting to feel the tide of battle turn. She runs away from me. Here I make a mistake only someone eating chips can make: I start to cast Holy Pinky Light rather than chase after her.

Her intercept promptly puts an end to my attempts to cheese our epic battle. Undeterred, I continue to use my Pinky DPS rotation. I'm about to move my mouse to click Divine Pinky Shield (simultaneously praying that this warrior had forgotten to train Shattering Throw) when I realize the warrior has succumbed to the pink.

Breathing a sigh of relief, I mouse-click my mount button and auto-run towards the daily quest giver. Licking the salt off my fingers, I cherished the taste of victory. Knowing who the true champion was though, I give my pinky a gentle kiss... then went to wash my hands."


  1. Epic Win.

    Awesome Guild Master is Awesome.

    Also, trying to kill anything while spec'd prot is...

    Well. It takes a long time.

  2. Message of the day folks!

    Don't f&%k with a Retribution Paladin when he's trying to finish off some chips.



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