If you don't like to talk about *cough* that time of the month, skip down to the break.
I told my husband yesterday that I don't think men understand PMS. He agreed, and I told him that I think this is because it's different for every woman. Some women have to take medication to even out the wild flux of hormones. Some women barely notice a blip on their emotional radar.
For me, my most hormonal times are just before and just after the . . . icky part. Just before and after, I'm likely to have stronger reactions to just about everything -- but they're reactions I would have had, just amplified. It doesn't make me feel anything I wouldn't have, though it does make me post frustrated rants on my guild forum about stuff I usually overlook. >_> (Sorry guys.)
Most of the time, if I'm in an unreasonable mood, my husband (has permission to do this) asks me if it's that time of the month, and I stop and tilt my head and say "Oh yeah." And I can consciously rein it in.
Because there's nothing I hate more than being cranky. Except being cranky in public.
Last night I went to an AQ40 raid, to get mounts and the completion achievement.
The mounts are only usable inside the instance but drop almost constantly and count toward your mount collection achievements. (My sweet guildmate passed a green one to me.)
We couldn't get past the moron twins. Whatever their names are. One is immune to magic, one is immune to melee, they keep switching places, and the tanks can't keep aggro. People were looking up strats for half an hour.
Once I started the ball rolling to go to bed at midnight, the two raid leaders in charge (my husband's best friend and my brother-in-law-in-law, both of whom sleep during the day and play all night) proposed more mount farming -- for the Zulian Tiger, the Raven Lord, Midnight, etc. Obviously, a few of us were leaving and couldn't go.
And it hit me. Those two guys, who'd signed mostly as backup for my Mount Excavation Team, were doing exactly what I had planned to do -- farm mounts. And they weren't even trying.
When I got to bed, I wondered why I had the Mount Excavation Team if we didn't do anything, and I realized several depressing things, the main one being: I don't think I can farm the phoenix.
It's not an issue of ability. If we tried long and hard enough, if I badgered enough people into going with me, we'd eventually get it.
I hate learning new content. Hate it. Cannot stand it. AQ40 reminded me of that last night. I want to be told where to stand, where to move, what to look for, and then I'll do it and I expect it to work or I don't want to try again until it will. This creates a road block for me in learning the Kael'thas fight.
I hate having things scheduled late. The best time for me is Sunday afternoon when I have a standing date to play with my family, but it's not the best time for everyone.
I hate having a full schedule. The more things I have to show up for, the more stressed I get during the week.
I hate cheating people. And this is what it really comes down to. Even if I have the numbers and the time, I'm not sure I'd be able to farm past the first mount. I don't think I have it in me to farm it every week for years. And I can't do that to the other people who want one, because they've mostly promised to pass the first to me. I refuse to use them and then toss them aside.
But it's so hard to just give up on something I've wanted for two years now. I don't want to. I don't care about people seeing me on it and going "Ooooh, she's so cool!" It's not for status or showing off, and it annoys me that that would happen anyway. It's because I frankly, simply, love that mount. With all my heart. The thought of giving it up for good made me (and I know this is the hormones amplifying everything) want to quit the game. Because while I play to enjoy my family, my in-game goals have always pointed toward that mount.
Last night, I cried into husband's shoulder as we discussed it, and I think I'll wait for the hormones to wear off and our gear to get better, and I'll focus on getting my brother the heroic dungeon title he wants, and then I'll talk to my family group about mount farming on Sundays with whomever else is able and willing from the Excavation Team.
For that, I need to get Dustfire to 80.
So. One step at a time.