So I was considering the dilemma of wanting to finish old world and BC content before Cataclysm (which I wanted to do while still in BC, but it fell flat) and mentioned my interest over pizza to the four officers* in my guild who have been known to get things like this done.
Let's take Kael'thas in The Eye, for example. These are people who do research, instruct everyone else in the encounters, and pull the semi-interested together to do things like city bosses. If they lead, it will succeed, and everyone knows that.
During our discussion, I realized something interesting -- guild members are at the mercy of those willing and able to lead.
Think about it.
When elective leadership (like clearing old world raids) is a chore, the most effective leaders won't be tempted to champion the endeavor. Or even join if someone else is putting together the roster (*cough* posting signups is not leading, as I have learned to my chagrin).
During our discussion, one of my family group pointed out, "I'd want a group I could trust. Otherwise, I don't think I'd go."
And the group wouldn't happen, because I know I wouldn't do the research and no one else has stepped forward.
Only one person of the four leaders I talked to seemed remotely interested, and he qualified his interest with the fact that he'd only want to do it as a private group activity with a hand-picked team. Not because he dislikes doing things with others in our guild or even that he particularly dislikes anyone, but just because, as the only person willing to step up and run such a show, he'd want it to be as stress-free as he could make it for himself. (Considering the 3 or 4 weeks we wiped on Kael'thas in 80 Naxx/Uld gear, I know firsthand that plenty of old raids still require coordination over brute strength.)
So if you knew you'd be part of that team, and you knew that others would be left out of it who might be hurt, but that the team wouldn't happen otherwise . . . what would you do? If it was between disappointing people or no one going at all.
Me, I think I'll go. If it happens. We're just starting to put Family Time back together after a long stretch of Not Family Time. Our group would likely be the base of the endeavor, like with the phoenix farming, and I don't see the point of avoiding something like that due to guilt (though the guilt? not going away). I still don't like the thought of anyone feeling left out, but I do understand that whoever ends up running the show would never try it again if it ended up being a frustrating night of wipes or class tutorials or goofing off. For the leader, I would like it to be pleasant.
So I guess I'm a bit torn. Family Guilds are about inclusion and friendship, but friendship can't flourish in an environment of frustration. I see frustration on one side if some people are left out. I see frustration on the other if they're included.
The way I want to look at it is this -- we're not leaving people out as much as training potential group leaders. Anyone who went with the raid group would then be able to instruct their own teams in the fights if they so chose. If there was someone competent (and patient) who'd be willing to go along as a trainee to take others through the same raids afterward, I'd push to have that person included.
I wish I could be one of those people. I'm pretty patient about waiting and working for things I want, but you couldn't make me lead a raid if you paid me.
Too much stress.
* Husband's Best Friend totally moved to the frozen north. That's the entire Family Group in one RL location, plus bonus Family Person, plus a promise from another friend that he'll move here if we find him a job. Woot.
* Also, please note that I'm talking about leaders of elective group activities in this post, not endgame activities. We have effective leaders I don't mention who tend to focus on endgame more than frivolous things like achievements.