Tait & Sanaria, or "A Cautionary Tale"

Every good story begins with two people meeting.


In this case, a dashing hero down on his luck, just trying to make ends meet...


And a beautiful mostly-naked girl, willing to make his dreams come true...


But like most beautiful, powerful, almost-nude women who offer strange men the money to cure their woes, there was something fishy about Sanaria. She seemed a little too persistent about getting our hero out of the city.


I thought to myself "Why would she store her gold outside Orgrimmar with the bank right here?"

So I followed the pair, ducking behind bushes and edging around walls. My infallible instincts told me something was up.

She led him to the middle of nowhere....


And all of a sudden, WHAM! She pyroblasts him! And he's left fighting a vicious scorpion, alone and terrified, thinking of his wife, fourteen mistresses, and thirty-two children. Who on Azeroth will feed them when he's gone?


He falls, and she stands laughing over his corpse.


I am witness ... to MURDER.

The moral of the story, poor readers? Never trust a beautiful nude woman when she promises free riches. It can only end in tragedy.


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None of this was staged.

The Dumblist, or "When Friend and Ignore Don't Quite Fit"

There are plenty of addons for tracking the people you hate -- GankList and VanasKOS (my addon of choice) for example -- and Blizzard finally put notes onto your friends to keep track of where you met them, but what about keeping track of that percentage of the population that seems so prevalent when you need a PUG?

Where's our Dumblist?

I had the supreme joy of heading to Orgrimmar this bustling Sunday night to make a few Auction House purchases. I ran into a good guildie friend in front of the bank, as you tend to do with a guild larger than 1, and stood around for a moment listening to the mature banter being /yelled about ("how original" says one -- "says the guy with the stupid name" replies the offended -- "this is my bank character" is the witty comeback).

Then comes an orc. An everyday orc, and obviously lost because he opens a trade window with me and tries to give me several greens, two rare-quality gems, and some other junk I didn't notice because gems are pretty. And I start to wonder if I'll actually accept the trade if he just gives the stuff to me -- he's obviously looking for someone else, maybe one of my clones, but definitely not me. And if I accept the trade, he'll be embarrassed and have to ask for the stuff back when the real person he was supposed to give it to gets there.

So I'm pondering all of this in light of my love for the way gems sparkle and he whispers me: "80 g ok>" (spelling preserved).

I blink and, ignoring the fact that I was seriously considering taking his stuff if he was stupid enough to hit trade, said: "I didn't agree to this." And closed the trade window.

He comes quickly back with "60 g" and reopens the trade window and starts putting the items back into in it.

I close it. "That's considered rude."

I then recount the affair to my guild. My friend, beside me, replies to me in guild: "I got it for 60g. Can I borrow some cash?"

I think he was joking. >_> Not about being offered the same deal, but about taking it.

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Do you have anyone you've really wanted to dumblist? Those that aren't quite horrible enough to be ignored and nowhere near competent enough to be friended, so they're stuck in a noteless limbo that leaves you wondering "How will I ever remember how dumb this person is?"

Me, I just write blog posts about them and keep screenshots of their names. You know, in case anyone is really really curious.

Primals, or "Your Guide to Enchant Candy"

Sometimes when you kill things in Outlands, you find motes in your bags.

Motes drop off of elementals. The type of elemental you're killing (shadow, water, fire, etc) has a decent chance to drop its type of mote.

Combine 10 motes to make one Primal.

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Primal Shadow: Used for items and enchants that affect shadow damage.
What Drop Shadow Motes? Grind in Hellfire (60), Nagrand (65), or Netherstorm (69).

Primal Life: Most used for healer enchants and craftables, including Golden Spellthread.
What Drop Life Motes? Grind in Zangarmarsh* (64)

Primal Earth: Used for defensive enchants and armor (such as for tanks), most valuable when transmuted by an alchemist into Primal Fire.
What Drop Earth Motes? Profession grind by mining Fel Iron. Grind in Nagrand (65-70)*, Shadowmoon Valley (68), Netherstorm (68).

Primal Fire: The most sought-after primal, most loved by mages trying to tailor their +fire damage epic set. Used in +spell damage and fire-related enchants.
What Drop Fire Motes? Profession grind by mining Fel Iron. Grind in Blades Edge Mountains (68), Nagrand* (70), Hellfire Penninsula (70). Most of these can only be reached by flying.

Primal Water: Used in spellpower and frost-related enchants and armor.
What Drops Water Motes? Profession grind by fishing. Grind in Nagrand (65), Terrokar Forest (Skettis)* (70).

Primal Air: Most useful in agility-related enchants and armor.
What Drops Motes of Air? Grind in Nagrand (64-70) or Shadowmoon Valley*.

Primal Mana: Highly desired for caster epics and enchants, especially Mystic and Runic Spellthread.
What Drops Motes of Mana? Grind in Netherstorm (67), Isle of Quel'Danas (70).

Primal Might: Created by alchemists by combining one of each following primal: Earth, Air, Fire, Water, Mana. Used in heavy-duty epic craftables.

Primal Nether: Used in heavy-duty epic craftables. Attainable through running heroic instances, at a badge vendor, or off the AH.

* My favorite farming spot.

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Farming Suggestions

Nagrand is your best bet for most elementals: the elemental plateau is only reachable by flight, but has a plethora of fire, earth, and air elementals just for farming. (Fire is just hard to get if you can't fly.)

In south-central Nagrand: you find shadow elementals, and earth and air elementals are everywhere in Nagrand but a good spot is south of the shadow elementals so that you can keep grinding all three.

Water elementals are all over the lakes of Nagrand.

The only place for life motes is to grind the bog lords and their friends in Zangarmarsh, which actually gives you lots of Sporeggarr reputation (cute pet at exalted).

Motes of mana fall off of all kinds of things in Netherstorm and are now available from erratic sentries when you do your daily Quel'Danas quests. Sometimes if no one else is around, I kill extra sentries for the motes and average a primal every 3-5 days. Still, Netherstorm is less likely to run out of mobs to grind for motes, just watch out for mana drain abilities -- melee classes should be especially strong farming these motes.

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Never vendor motes. Always give them to your guild bank, a friend who needs primals, or auction them. Never ever vendor. (I'm looking at you, Z. You vendored MANA! /glare)

Unaided, or "When Alliance and Horde are Friends -- But Not Yours"

On a PVP server, if you see horde surrounding an alliance person who's killed you, you think they're fighting and you'll have the upper hand.

So you go in and you attack, and you watch as the horde just stands there while you battle for your life.

And you think: WTF?!

(Or some nicer variation, like "What the Poo?")

We've discussed this from Alliance side, when a level 70 rogue refused to stop his friends from killing my group over and over again.

What is the etiquette when your friend on the other side is fighting in PvP? If you stay out of it, the horde gets ticked off. If you kill your friend, the friend gets ticked off.

Is logging the only acceptable response?

In my humble opinion, the proper response is stopping the fight and letting the people on your side know if you can't help them. If your friend refuses to stop, you kill them. If your faction refuses to stop, you leave them to their fate and possibly /ignore, based on how much of a jerk they are.

The worst situation, I think, is if the friend is a ganker whom the person attacking hates. If you don't ally yourself with your faction, why are you ON that faction? Switch, moron.

Thoughts? Personally, I've come up against this twice already, people not helping me fight folks who have, in the past, killed me unfairly, and I want to gouge out their eyeballs. I always /ignore b/c, really, anyone who allies themselves with a jerk ganker must be a jerk ganker themselves. And is therefore not worth my time.

Family Camping Trip, or "We Are Like Ants At Your Picnic"

Dramatization, Sort Of

Dustfire: Yay, I'm killing nagas and getting quest drops!
Nesme (Human Warrior): I have season 3 gear and a 2000+ 3v3 team rating! You do not get to kill this naga!
Dustfire: I am mortally wounded!
Nesme: Hahaha! I can kill cloth-wearers in worse pvp gear than me!
Dustfire: I shall sneak away and heal myself, then return while he is at a disadvantage! [CHARGE!] Oh, I am mortally wounded again!
Equilibrio (Druid Family-In-Law): I shall come heal you! I have great mana!
Dustfire: I cannot find him again. [bites lip] Well, let's quest.
Equilibrio: Why are you not getting hurt?! Give me something to do! [Gets hit] Found him! [heals] He has a friend! We shall kill her too.
Dustfire: Ha! Take that, vile healer! Take that, poo-face warrior! We are victorious! I spit on the ground where lie your broken bodies! BWAHAHAHA!
Equilibrio: Oop, here they are again. Let's kill!
Dustfire: Killing with massive JOY! [dies]
Equilibrio: [dies] A vile hunter came and saved them.
Shenoah: I am brave and true and love my wife! I shall aid you!
Dustfire: I love you! Thank you for helping me! [smooch smooch smooch smooch smooch]
Equilibrio: I'm going to be sick. >_>
Azuel (Friend Warlock): You are brave, my friends! Do you desire another ally to wreak havoc on these upstart alliance and protect the innocent questers of Azeroth?
Dustfire: [stops smooching husband] Yes, thank you! Teehee!
Equilibrio: I'm a bear! ROAR! Someone get hurt so I can heal. Hey, you random people, come here and let me heal and buff you.
Random People: Hurray! Long live Equilibrio!
Shenoah: They've rezzed! Let us destroy them with impunity for daring to mess with one of our women!
[Massacre of Nesme and Lul-something, who are on the same pooooowerful 3v3 team. Other alliance run by. Occasionally, we help them kill their nagas.]
Dustfire: Let us sit here for a long long time!
Dredskies: [rides up, sits 12 times on Nesme's corpse, then leaves, having said nothing]
Dustfire: [half an hour later -- bored] Let us move ahead and hope they assume we've left.
[In five minutes, Nesme tries to ride by on his pretty orange kitty.]
Shenoah: Frostshock! War Stomp!
Azuel: Curse!
Equilibrio: Moonfire!
Dustfire: Death!
[Great rejoicing and laughter. Ten minutes after that, Lul-something tries to ride by.]
Shenoah: Here! Destroy her!
Lul-something: /rofl /rofl /rofl /rofl
Dustfire: We are victorious!
Shenoah: Lul's body has disappeared. The coward runs! [takes Dustfire's hand] You are vindicated, dear wife.
Dustfire: My HERO!
Equilibrio & Azuel: We helped. >_>

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I like to think that Nesme and Lul-something were asking for backup in guild chat but everyone in their guild sucks so nobody would help them. See, when you mess with a family guild, we might not be individually strong, but we back each other up with numbers. Like ants at a picnic.

Leatherworking, or "Raid Leaders Only Want Me For My Drums"

Converted from AlmostGaming leatherworking guide. They offer guides with the minimum material requirements.

Needed

Light Leather: 325
Medium Leather: 440
Heavy Leather: 385
Cured Heavy Hide: 10
Iron Buckle: 5
Thick Leather: 650
Turtle Scale: 112
Heavy Silken Thread: 2
Wildvine: 4
Cured Thick Hide: 2
Rugged Leather: 340
Knothide Scrap: 25
Knothide Leather: 530
Fel Scales: 30
Rune Thread: 135
Heavy Knothide Leather: 60
Primal Might: 15
Arcane Dust: 65
Small Prismatic: 20


Make

1-45 Light Armor Kit
46-55 Hand-Stitched Leather Cloak
56-100 Embossed Leathergloves
101-120 Fine Leather Belts
121-135 Dark Leather Boots
136-155 Dark Leather Pants
156-165 Hillman Leather Gloves
166-180 Heavy Armor Kits
181-190 Barbaric Shoulders
191-195 Barbaric Harnesses
196-205 Dusky Bracers
206-220 Thick Armor Kits
221-225 Nightscape Headbands
226-227 Turtle Scale Breastplates (Feralas Quest)
228-229 Turtle Scale Gloves (Feralas Quest)
230 Nightscape Tunics (Feralas Quest)
231-232 Nightscape Headbands (Feralas Quest)
233 Turtle Scale Bracers (Feralas Quest)
234-235 Turtle Scale Helms (Feralas Quest)
236-237 Nightscape Pants (Feralas Quest)
238-239 Nightscape Boots (Feralas Quest)
240 Wild Leather Vest
241 Wild Leather Helmet
242-250 Nightscape Pants
251-265 Nightscape Boots
266-285 Wicked Leather Bracers
286-300 Wicked Leather Headbands
301-305 Knothide Leather
306-310 Knothide Armor Kit
311-320 Wild Draenish Gloves
321-330 Thick Draenish Boots
331-340 Thick Draenish Vest
341-355 Scaled Draenic Boots
356-365 Riding Crop (Caverns of Time)
366-370 Drums of Battle (Sha'tar Exalted)
371-375 Drums of Panic (Keepers of Time Exalted)

Insensitivity, or "Applauding Making Girls Cry"

We've already discussed how the official Warcraft forums are a cesspool. Today, after asking for a bit of advice with my Role Playing endeavors, I stumbled on a post from a guy who had a fight with his sister.

This is what happened: She asked him to send an email to a friend using her email. As a joke, he added the line "You suck" to the end of the email. What he didn't realize was that it was going to an extremely sensitive girl who didn't realize it was a joke and cried. A lot.

His sister, when she found out, removed Warcraft and all his non-work-related bookmarks from his computer as retaliation and "screamed" at him.

The guy got some heat for suggesting he'd do physical violence to his sister if she didn't let it go. In the end, the thread became an argument over whether he was right or the sister was right and who wronged who first and the dynamics of sibling relationships.

My Conclusions

The mistake was an honest one. He didn't realize how hard the friend would take it and, by all accounts, he's a guy (which often, and definitely in this case, means "doesn't realize GIRLS AREN'T GUYS") and he realizes what he did was a mistake.

The sister was justified in getting angry and defending her friend. What she did to his computer wasn't permanent or vicious, just petty and annoying. He might never remember what the url was for that porn site he liked so much, but I think he'll live.

What bothered me the most:

• The guy tried to justify his side of things based on his sister overreacting when she screamed at him, rather than taking responsibility for a joke gone wrong and apologizing to the girl he hurt.
• The people replying to his post who took his side made fun of "weak teenage girls" and one said the joke was still funny even if she cried. As a sensitive female, this upset me more than anything. If I wasn't married or if I didn't have great male relatives, I would seriously be hating men right now.
  

The cruel, insensitive people are the reason Warcraft sometimes SUCKS. They're also the main type of person you'll find on the forums. They're the guys who used to beat up the nice guys in high school, or who thought Columbine was funny. They're the ones who ruin other people's gameplay for fun.

I guess what I'm saying is... today I saw real chauvinism, guys who think girls in pain are amusing. And it got to me.

/sigh There's a reason my husband banned me from reading the Zuluhed forums. Maybe I should take that up for all forums?

Fishing, or "Patience Gets You Cooking Supplies"

Fishing is one of three secondary professions, meaning it does not count as one of your two main professions. It's also very different than any other profession in how it skills up.

In fishing, you must equip a fishing pole and hotkey the fishing skill. Press it, and it casts your line into the water.

When the bobber bobs and splashes, click on it and you will catch a fish. (I recommend auto-loot.)

1. You can level your fishing 1-375 in any pool of water anywhere.
2. When just starting, use lures to increase your chance to catch.
   
3. Skill points gained are fewer and farther between the higher your skill gets. So leveling fishing is a time investment. (Because of this, I recommend just one character as your fisherman.)
   
4. Some areas are unfishable if your skill is too low.
5. You will pass pools of fish and/or wreckage while leveling -- they are like mining or herb nodes -- if you cast your lure in these pools, you will always catch what is in the pool node until it runs out (respawn timer just like other nodes). There is also a chance of catching chests, which might have this.

Leveling

Level skill to 150 using any fishing trainer.

Expert Fishing: Get guide from Old Man Heming in Booty Bay.

Artisan Fishing: Start with Grimnur Stonebrand (A-IF) or Lumak (H-Org). They send you to Nat Pagle (Dustwallow Marsh) who gives you the quest for Artisan fishing: Nat Pagle, Angler Extreme.

• [Feralas 62,51] Feralas Ahi
• [Swamp of Sorrows 90,72] Misty Reed Mahi Mahi
• [Desolace 25,77] Sar'theris Striker
• [Stranglethorn Vale 33,32] Savage Coast Blue Sailfin

Master Fishing: Get Guide from Juno Dufrain in Cenarion Refuge (Zangarmarsh).

Why fish?

• Fishing is the best way to level cooking.
• Rare small pets: Magical Crawdad, Snarly (green), Toothy (yellow), Muckbreath (brown), Chuck (dark green).
• Fishing daily.
• Chance to catch some interesting things, like Deviate Fish.
• Soothing water noise. :)

Other Resources

Check out WoW Insider's fishing posts, and try bookofwarcraft.com's fishing guide (tells which fish will make you the most money on the AH). And the king of all Warcraft fishing sites: El's Anglin'.

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I enjoy fishing. In the down time when your group isn't doing anything but you still want to progress a little, it's a nice break.

Role Playing, or "Making Stories and Building Personality"

Non-Gamer's Guide to This Post

Role Playing Servers/Realms are special servers for players who want to play as their characters, complete with character backstory and personality quirks.

General rules for Role Playing realms: you must pick a name that could actually be a name, not a travesty of letters; you must talk as your character when speaking in public (/s /y /emote); and never harass others.

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Our Group

My family and I recently rolled extremely casual alts on an RP server. We didn't want to get caught up in another bland group grind, and since our mains are horde in a cozy-wozy guild we love, we didn't want anything that would put pressure on us or that would waste our time when we could be grinding gold or mega lootz instead. We wanted relaxing.

So, since we all like to make backgrounds and/or personalities for our characters, we thought a Role Playing server would be a fun experiment.

• Myrna Birdfall (Me): Sensible, serious, to-the-point. Likes to keep a low profile. Favorite emote is /sigh. Gets annoyed by her group.
  
• Latoria Birdfall (my sister-in-law): Birdfall's incorrigible little sister. Loves to tease and is the only person allowed to call Birdfall by her given name. Always trying to set Birdfall up with guys.
  
• Zubasi (my brother): Druid hippie. Likes to smoke Peacebloom. Mellow.
• Dorqueak (my husband-guy): High-energy warlock, afraid of demons.
  
  

What to Expect on RP

I think the first question for any newbie on a Role Playing server is "What do I do? What is expected?"

• In groups and whispers, it's up to you if you want to stay in character or not.
• Speaking "out loud" must always be In Character.
• To keep people from being confused when you speak "Out of Character," put parentheses around your words: ((Hang on, I'm going to the bathroom.)) Doing this too much "out loud" will annoy people, though.
• Don't call people by their names unless you've been introduced. Some people like you to ask their name.
  
• In any major city, you can walk around until you find a group of people standing around talking to each other as the characters they play, not as themselves. It's a good way to see how others Role Play and how you can be expected to act. (Never interrupt these groups. It's rude to insinuate yourself on someone else's role playing.)
• General, Trade, and other such channels are not RP-required, but some people like to role play in them. The main requirement is that you stay on-topic in these channels.
• The best Role Playing addon, in my opinion, is MyRolePlay. It's the only one that has a backstory panel. (Installation: Download to desktop; Open My Computer - C: - Program Files - World of Warcraft - Interface - Addons; Unzip file in Addons folder; Restart Warcraft.)
• Role Players are very nice, helpful, and understanding of beginners. If you whisper that you're clueless about what to do but are trying your best, you'll get plenty of pointers.
  
• Don't make your character better than (or a descendant of) the epic heroes of the game, as this will make your role playing boring and get on everyone else's nerves. (For example, I made Birdfall ordinary: slightly-above-average rogue; dresses in plain, dark clothing; doesn't stand out in a crowd of Night Elves. It's because she's a rogue -- she wants to blend so she can do her job. It also makes her a perfect foil for her silly crowd.)

Read more about Role Playing in WoW Insider's regular feature: All The World's A Stage.

Curator Speed Strat, or "I LOVE Raiding with Fently"

Everyone in my guild has learned to love Fently strats. They're quick and they're funny. ^_^

Blood Elf Male Dance, or "I Make My Friends Do Embarrassing Things"

I had great footage and it matched an equally fantastic song. /shrug

That's It, or "I Quit WoW"

Why wouldn't I with such an obviously superior game around? Even WoW Insider is changing its tune for this masterpiece:

There's even a cute pets post! Apparently, these pets give you extra bag space.

In other news, Blizzard has announced a console game based on Molten Core that nobody cares about, and a new Hero class to come out in Wrath of the Lich King (the level 80 expansion): Bard! You can play guitar to kill things! I'm excited.

And, finally, on this day full of fun surprises, Wowhead decided to change its design style:

I think it's nice -- very simple and classy. But it reminds me of something...