Hyacinth Farm, or "No More Ms Nice ... Lady?"

Captain's Log Number Something: Have lost count of days spent in search of the elusive Hyacinth Macaw. Can only chart my progress in First Mate Hats. To date, 3 hats, 2 people annoyed enough at my farming to speak to me, 1 sick husband, and 1 coming-out-of-the-womb-in-a-few-days nephew.

Yes, you heard me. My nephew will drop before this dumb bird ever will.

/sigh